Have you met people and was awed by their mere presence? Or maybe they’d say something that would hit a nerve because it perfectly addressed the internal conversations you were having with yourself?

Ours is a life of continuous growth – growth spurred on by the people we meet and the conversations we have. I’ve been blessed to have encountered wise people over the past year who have shared with me some insights that likely, unbeknownst to them, have had great significance to me especially at where I was and what I was going through at that point in time.

As a gratitude and affirmation of the impact they make in this world, and also to pass these on, I am sharing here valuable lessons and reflection from some people I’ve encountered in 2018. May they also inspire you to be your best self and live your life in the best and rewarding way you know how.

1. On Authenticity and Being Your Best Self

“It’s not your life’s work to be likeable or palatable.”

– Jennifer Carrington

I was a people-pleaser. I used to adjust how I behave, how I react, even how I dress, in order to make people feel more comfortable. As much as possible, I let people easily get away with things and simply be agreeable to avoid arguments that would likely lead to awkwardness. Basically, I was always trying to make things easier for everyone even when it means making things harder for myself. I also willingly stand in the dark to let others be on the spotlight.  It took me a while to realize what I was doing and just when I thought I was already over it, I again caught myself falling back to the habit.

We grew up being told to be nice but along the way you will realize that too much kindness and unselfishness can hinder your growth into becoming the best version of yourself.

A couple of weeks ago, I received an e-mail from Jen with these words that loudly resonated, “It’s not your life’s work to be likeable or palatable… I can’t tell you how many times I’ve felt the pressure to make myself smaller and more palatable, how much of my life I spent thinking that I was too much and that my voice wasn’t truly worthy of being heard.”

Jennifer is a business coach based in Australia who helps her clients build a successful business while being their best selves. I first encountered her blog in 2016 and have been receiving her weekly letters since. She is a big advocate for authenticity and prioritizing wellness. Her raw honesty and focus on things that truly matter to her is refreshing amidst all the noise online telling you to chase big dreams, hustle hard, and tick off boxes on lists after lists that can be truly overwhelming and exhausting.

Enough of that. It’s time to spread our wings and be the magnificent butterfly we’re meant to be.

Enough of overly worrying about what others think and instead, focus our energy on doing work that truly matters.

Let us fly with other butterflies who know their worth and are equally beautiful in their own ways.

2. On Writing and Wellness

“Living humans move. Dead humans don’t. And we’re all just trying to feel a little more alive inside.”

– John Gorman

A little over a month ago, I found myself in a series of dark days. I’m not using the term ‘depression’ out of respect for the people, and those very dear to me, who’ve been clinically diagnosed and battling it. What they’re going through is no joke and I can’t imagine the depth of it. I don’t think what I was going through was any close to what they’re suffering from. Or maybe, this is my pride and I am still in denial. Or perhaps I am ‘self-medicating’ something I should visit a doctor for.

One November night, it hit me hard. I took long walks. I talked to myself. I looked for food that was supposed to lift my mood. I listened to music that usually make me feel good. Until finally, I thought the only thing I could do was to sleep it off. I was on a bus on my way home when I resorted to consulting all-knowing Google and typed, “For when you’re sad.”

I didn’t know what exactly I was looking for. My query was as generic as it could get. I just needed something to take away whatever it was I was “feeling.” Lo and behold, third on the first page of Google results was this article, “An Open Letter To You For When You’re Sad or Depressed.” Please not another “Thought Catalog article,” I thought (okay, I’ve read some good articles on TC but you must have seen those open letters there which you hoped would be great but then fell short of connecting to you emotionally).

I was like “blahblahblah” until about a third of that article.

John Gorman spoke to me.

Let me tell you how it felt like. I felt understood, and I felt less alone. Good writing does that. Genuine empathy. I bet those 45 thousand ‘clappers’ on Medium felt it too.

John asked me to move.

I think that pretty much addresses the emotional-slash-existential crisis I’m having.

We just have to keep moving. Keep living. Keep trying.

By the way, John and I are now following each other on Instagram (@heygorman) where I get to read his candid reflective posts about life, writing, and knowing his own Self. He has also written a couple of powerful articles on Medium, including an article where he shared about how he emerged from his own dark days. I admit, his writing has influenced me to write again. If some words of a stranger could touch and move me in significant ways, then maybe my words could touch other lives too. At the very least, maybe it could also make someone feel less lonely at a time when he or she needs it most.

3. On Courage and Taking a Leap 

“You’re the right person to bring your unique flavor to the world. Whatever you’re working on – just ship it, be vulnerable, learn and improve.”

– Flipsumn / Berkeley Malagon

I learned about Berkeley’s penchant for creating and building things from the few conversations I had with him a couple of years back. But a simple Google search will lead you to a video interview of him talking about a game he created a couple of years back which turned out to be a success. He has also developed an app called PplQ and eventually joined a startup, Magic. On the first conversation we had, I remember asking him about his work. The conversation went on for at least an hour. It was fascinating to watch someone talk about his craft with so much passion and deep belief in his company’s vision. He would have been a great sales person!

From being a “tech startup guy” specializing on artificial intelligence (AI) and machine learning, he has recently shifted his focus to something he has always been passionate about – creating music. He has consistently published his own soundtracks on Soundcloud and just a few weeks ago, he released his first track on Spotify.

Wow.

From making a shift, showing up, to actually taking a leap, Berkeley started to make things happen. Plus, he bravely shared with the world what he got.

And he didn’t stop there. After his “Spotify debut,” he wrote about it and published his first article on Medium while here I am battling through my insecurities over my writing and being paralyzed by the incessant perfectionist voice in my head (surprise, surprise, I still have reservations over publishing this post on this blog because it’s not the “perfect-personal-website-with-branded-photos-own-domain-and-seo-friendly” that I want).

Creating something. Releasing it to the world. Being vulnerable.

Berkeley did it all and sparked a wave of courage within me.

I haven’t seen nor talked to him in a long while but I think that’s the beauty of the World Wide Web – we don’t have to be physically close to be able to “touch.”

“You’re the right person to bring your unique flavor to the world. Whatever you’re working on – just ship it, be vulnerable, learn and improve.”

Aye, aye Berkeley. I am publishing this note and I am going to tell people about it. And next time you ask me about how much I want to take the Coursera course on social entrepreneurship, I would not hesitate to answer you directly knowing that you’d call me out on any excuse I would make. “Yes, but…” is unacceptable.

If I really want something, I have to do what I can to get it and make things happen.

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4. On Passion and Career 

“Do what you do best.”

– Gladys Young

What do I do best?

It’s a question I keep asking myself ever since I met G.

I interviewed her for the launch of the holiday collection of her jewelry brand Vero. It was the first time I met her. As usual, I asked her about the business with great interest.  I’ve recently started prototyping my own jewelry designs and I didn’t expect to get an assignment that would lead me to an established designer like her (I produce tv features for ANC Cityscape). Maybe it was the universe reacting to my thoughts. Maybe it was just coincidence. But I surely would not pass up an opportunity to learn, and yes, be inspired.

G embodies her brand. Her mere presence screams strength. As a woman, I found that fascinating and aspirational. Off cam, Gee graciously shared with me how she got into the business and how she took the leap to follow her passion which happened to be something she was really good at.

She is aware her pieces are not for everyone and she is completely fine with it. Confidently, she said, “Vero is for women who know what they want and get it. They’re very confident, they’re go-getters.  They really know what their choices are and they narrow it down…” Now that’s a strong entrepreneurial mindset – knowing and owning your niche and not bend every which way trying to please everyone.

What made our encounter truly remarkable was when she told me, “It’s a kind of work that is tiring but it’s not the kind where you wake up at 6 AM and you just really hate your life…” O how I long to feel that way too all days of my life.

Her golden piece of advice? “Do what you do best.”

One day soon, I will know what that is.

Have you already figured out what it is for you?

5. On Purpose and Touching Lives 

“Why wait all those years to make a difference when I can make one now?”

– Lindsay Padilla

I organize events and speak before various groups of young people at least once every quarter of the year. This is part of my volunteer work with our non-profit organization 2030 Youth Force in the Philippines which engages communities for the achievement of the United Nations Global Goals for Sustainable Development.

In every stop of our nationwide roadshow, I deliver a presentation about the role of the youth in sustainable development and once in a while, I also talk about effective communication and other tools to contribute to social good. To get my message across, I use stories and usually these are stories about people I know and learn from – pretty much like this article you’re currently reading (thanks for reading this far along by the way).

In Bacolod, I met one of the delegates, Lindsay Padilla. She plans to pursue further studies and become a doctor one day. Her feedback on our event, and my talk in particular, humbled me and brought me tears.

She said the event awakened in her a deep desire to be involved in various actions that change people’s lives. “Right then and there, I found a new purpose that was deeply personal to me,” she said. The stories I shared about how other five Filipino youth are working on the development sector in their own ways also made her ask, “Why wait all those years (of studying) to make a difference when I can make one now?”

If I could touch even just one life through the ideas I share, and through the stories I curate, then there’s more reason for me to keep showing up and continue the work that I do, no matter how imperfect I deem it to be. Maybe even imperfect things can make a difference in this world. Even imperfect people can touch lives and make this world a little better.

I thank Lindsay. I thank Jen, John, Berkeley and Gee for touching my life this year.

We are shaped by our experiences and we learn from the people we surround ourselves with whether through their words, actions or by their mere existence. I believe we meet them at just the right time. My own story is made up of the many stories of the people I encounter each day. I’m grateful for them too.

As you read this, I hope you also gain valuable insights. This may be too many words and too many thoughts but I hope at least one part of this resonate with you and if there’s any, share it with others.

And whatever you want to give birth into this world – be it an idea, project, or your mere awesomeness, let it be seen and allow it to touch people too.

I’m excited for you.

Cheers to a brand new year!